Lesson 26: Trust your Instincts and Be Prepared

Today I experienced what an earthquake feels like.  Living on the US east coast, we do not experience many of them, mostly because the rock structure is knitted tighter and stronger than on the west coast (so the newscaster said today).  Either way, it was a startling experience to feel totally out of control.  At first, we were not sure if it was a gust of wind, but as the house started to shake back and forth, all kinds of thoughts raced through....an earthquake? a terrorist attack (we are so close to 9/11)? an impending tornado (we've been through that before)  a gas leak somewhere? Will my house fall down?  Will we be injured?

My instincts said, "Get to safety."  So, the dogs and hubby and I left the room with the windows where we would not need to worry about shattered glass and went downstairs.  By the time, we reached the space where we could go outside, the tremor stopped.

This event reminded me that we must always be prepared for natural emergencies.  Make sure you have a week's worth of bottled water, canned food with can opener, batteries, flashlights, candles and matches in an easy-to-find location. If you can afford to, purchase a radio that can run on AA batteries, but can also be hand-cranked if you run out.  The American Red Cross endorses an emergency radio that has AM-FM and TV channels, as well as outlets for your cell phone and USB ports.  Hopefully you will never use it, but it's good to have just in case.  We bought ours at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but I honestly do not know if they still sell them. It's been some time. In the old days, before cable, we also had a portable TV, but since you can't get any channels that aren't digitized today, that's a throwaway.

The final instruction for today is to not fret if your cell phone cannot dial out or in due to high utilization or line damage.  In most cases, texting and email will still function so you can still communicate. 

Lesson 25: Smile and the World Smiles With You

This lesson is a fun one!  Have you ever noticed that there are some people who have the ability to attract people around them like magnets?  They may not be particularly beautiful or handsome, but they exude positive happy energy. 

Fact: No one likes to be around a sad sack.  Everyone has their own troubles.  When socializing with others, most people are not interested in hearing your woes. They want to energize themselves with people who can shine a happy light on life's events.

For starters, smile at everyone you see.  You may get some strange reactions, but for most folks, they will smile back at you.  It will make you feel good that you brightened a moment in someone's life, and it will make them feel good that a stranger shared a happy moment with them.

Lesson 24: Importance of Saving Money - Determining What You Want vs What You Need

This is a hard lesson, mostly because it is not usually learned until you get into debt. Usually, the debt is caused by things you want, not what you need.  The best time to start saving money is when you are young. There are very few people who can't manage to save $1 to $5 a week.  Young couples will benefit from putting away $1 or more a week in a savings account with interest. It doesn't seem like a lot now, but you will be happily surprised by the time you have children and they are ready for college, what that small investment amounts to over time.

If you are a person who can't wait to burn all the money in your pocket, the best savings strategy for you will be to have the money automatically transferred into a savings account from your paycheck, or set up an automatic transfer with your bank.  This way you never see the money to actually miss it.

Why is this so important?  In my lifetime, the value of the dollar has shrunk considerably. My father in the 1940s could go to a movie for a nickel. Today, the cost can be as high as $12. In turn, salaries rarely rise to equal the cost of living expenses. If you learn early to save, it will not appear to be "impossible" as the economy changes over time.

The hardest part of this lesson is to learn to purchase what you need versus what you want.  In my thoughts, this is the primary cause of debt.  We don't buy the inexpensive car that will take us from Point A to Point B. We would rather get the nicer looking, more comfortable, and thus, more expensive car.  We want to live in the nicer house, not just the house that provides enough space for our family, which keeps us safe from the outside elements.  It's not a crime to want...it's human nature.  However, it is a challenge to separate wants and needs. Simply thinking about this everytime you make a purchase is the start in learning it as a habit.

Lesson 23: Determining the Value of Peace of Mind

This is a tough lesson, because most people do not learn it until their hand is forced. As children, we are full of ideals based on our limited life history, and the information that is shared with us by a handful of people.  If we are lucky, those who influence us are open-minded, worldly, and well-informed.  If we are not, we may be surrounded by close-minded, insulated, and ignorant people. All influence us.

If we are internally hearty, we may overcome the negative around us and seek to improve our lives. An example is children, who steeped in poverty, somehow get the message that education and eternal optimism can move them out of destitution and bring success.  They seek to make their existence meaningful.  For these children, the everyday struggle to rise to the top, brings them peace of mind that life will be different.

For others influenced to believe that wealth or the look of wealth is the measurement of success, there may be many unwanted compromises. These may be the conflicted moms, who want to stay home to parent their children, yet, they want to live in the four bedroom house with all the amenities, requiring them to work full-tme. These may also be the conflicted dads, who want to play with their children after work, but grueling, relentless 12 hour workdays make that impossible simply due to exhaustion.

The other conflict comes on the heels of achieving higher education.  An example is the young woman who paid thousands of dollars and is still thousands of dollars in debt after paying for undergraduate and graduate school. She wonders if she will ever be able to buy the 4 bedroom house or go on a "nice" vacation?

The final conflict occurs, when after working 30-40 years, you are simply tired...of the commute, the stress, the people, the hours.  It's when you determine what is the value of peace of mind...and body.  They call it retirement.

The lesson here is that you should proactively reevaluate as you go through the stages of life what would bring you peace of mind and what you will need to do to maintain it. 

Lesson 22: All You Need is a Phone and Credit Card

This is a lesson that will take you around the world and back.  If you ever find yourself in a precarious position - flat tire in the middle of nowhere, strange city and you are in crisis, etc., in almost all cases a phone and credit card will get you through it. 

When the girls first learned how to drive, aside from the AAA membership, we ingrained in them that they can always survive remembering this lesson.  It has been invaluable in many ways.

Lesson 21: You Can't Pick Your Parents

As a parent, you are the first to love your child, influence your child, and guide your child toward a successful role in society. It is not a role to be taken lightly. As they say, pregnancy is 100% preventable...although reality TV would tell you otherwise.

The point of this lesson is that you must be mindful of what it takes to be a successful parent. If you do not feel you have what it takes to be a good parent, talk to someone whom you think exemplifies the role. Read books and magazines..there are certainly plenty on this topic, and seek therapy if you need to do things differently than your parents did. The reality is that you will repeat the bad behaviors if you don't learn how to recognize and prevent them.

If after all of that, you still do not feel comfortable with parenthood, then perhaps it is not your destiny. It isn't a box to be checked to be like everyone else. It is the most important job you will ever have in your life. The hours will be long and occasionally peppered with stress and disappointment, but hopefully there will be many more joyful and proud moments to remember.
How you treat your children lasts a lifetime. It builds or destroys their self-image, self-esteem, and ability to relate to others. So while you can't pick your parents, you can choose to make yourself the best parent you can be.

Lesson 20: Everyday You Make An Impact

Never think that how you act around others does not get noticed or does not make a difference. Yesterday, my daughter attended a bachelorette party and one of attendees was a young woman I had worked with in a former job.

My daughter introduced herself as my daughter, and the woman commented to her how much fun I was to work with and that she always liked sitting with me at meetings. It goes to show you that even if you're not bosom buddies, you never know how you impact people through your daily interactions. So the lesson today is to be mindful of how you act and what you say, for it will follow you everywhere through people you least expect.