Are you the kind of person that gets angry and throws it off or do you harbor it, let it grow into fatigue and depression and maybe a headache, stomachache or some other psychosomatic illness?
Growing up in a family where it wasn't cool to express your anger, I was definitely in the second camp, and now that I'm an adult suffering from the results of long-term internal anger, it was a priority that my children learn to manage their anger much more effectively.
The basic tenet within our household was "Get the anger out and get over it!". We would tell the children that if they were ever worried that we'd be angry by what they'd say, they should tell us exactly that, and then say what's on their mind. It worked like a charm. It prepared us to expect to hear something we probably did not want to hear, and at the same time, prevented us from reacting emotionally. At the same time, the children were able to "get it out" and "get over it". As a result, the children always felt comfortable telling us what was on their mind. Not everyone agreed with this parenting tactic, but we are grateful for the openness within our family, even if it is tempered with emotion.
The children also manage their personal relationships in the same way. The big surprise for them was learning that not all their friends were so comfortable with the frank sharing of feelings and ideas. It was a learning moment for them that not everyone has an open door for communication.
The final part of this lesson is to remember that you should always be careful what you say because you can NEVER take it back once it's out of your mouth. The damage could be forever as so many of us already know.
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