Lesson 22: All You Need is a Phone and Credit Card

This is a lesson that will take you around the world and back.  If you ever find yourself in a precarious position - flat tire in the middle of nowhere, strange city and you are in crisis, etc., in almost all cases a phone and credit card will get you through it. 

When the girls first learned how to drive, aside from the AAA membership, we ingrained in them that they can always survive remembering this lesson.  It has been invaluable in many ways.

Lesson 21: You Can't Pick Your Parents

As a parent, you are the first to love your child, influence your child, and guide your child toward a successful role in society. It is not a role to be taken lightly. As they say, pregnancy is 100% preventable...although reality TV would tell you otherwise.

The point of this lesson is that you must be mindful of what it takes to be a successful parent. If you do not feel you have what it takes to be a good parent, talk to someone whom you think exemplifies the role. Read books and magazines..there are certainly plenty on this topic, and seek therapy if you need to do things differently than your parents did. The reality is that you will repeat the bad behaviors if you don't learn how to recognize and prevent them.

If after all of that, you still do not feel comfortable with parenthood, then perhaps it is not your destiny. It isn't a box to be checked to be like everyone else. It is the most important job you will ever have in your life. The hours will be long and occasionally peppered with stress and disappointment, but hopefully there will be many more joyful and proud moments to remember.
How you treat your children lasts a lifetime. It builds or destroys their self-image, self-esteem, and ability to relate to others. So while you can't pick your parents, you can choose to make yourself the best parent you can be.

Lesson 20: Everyday You Make An Impact

Never think that how you act around others does not get noticed or does not make a difference. Yesterday, my daughter attended a bachelorette party and one of attendees was a young woman I had worked with in a former job.

My daughter introduced herself as my daughter, and the woman commented to her how much fun I was to work with and that she always liked sitting with me at meetings. It goes to show you that even if you're not bosom buddies, you never know how you impact people through your daily interactions. So the lesson today is to be mindful of how you act and what you say, for it will follow you everywhere through people you least expect.

Lesson 19: Get the Whole Picture before You Take Apart the Pieces

This is a lesson to be applied to your work life, as well as your personal life. It is much easier to immediately react to information than to wait until you have the whole story. Remember: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Imagine how much angst you can prevent and diffuse by just being a bit patient and a little bit of a detective. Looking at situations is not just a question of judging shared conversations, but it involves looking at the environment, circumstances, as well as external and intrinsic factors that may have driven the action. Only when you really think you've done your homework should you feel comfortable that it is safe to take a stand. However, be mindful of an earlier lesson: Once it's out of the mouth, it can never be taken back.

Listening can be a very valuable tool. Have you really listened or do you just hear?

Lesson 18: Get the Anger Out and Get Over It!

Are you the kind of person that gets angry and throws it off or do you harbor it, let it grow into fatigue and depression and maybe a headache, stomachache or some other psychosomatic illness?

Growing up in a family where it wasn't cool to express your anger, I was definitely in the second camp, and now that I'm an adult suffering from the results of long-term internal anger, it was a priority that my children learn to manage their anger much more effectively.

The basic tenet within our household was "Get the anger out and get over it!". We would tell the children that if they were ever worried that we'd be angry by what they'd say, they should tell us exactly that, and then say what's on their mind. It worked like a charm. It prepared us to expect to hear something we probably did not want to hear, and at the same time, prevented us from reacting emotionally. At the same time, the children were able to "get it out" and "get over it". As a result, the children always felt comfortable telling us what was on their mind. Not everyone agreed with this parenting tactic, but we are grateful for the openness within our family, even if it is tempered with emotion.

The children also manage their personal relationships in the same way. The big surprise for them was learning that not all their friends were so comfortable with the frank sharing of feelings and ideas. It was a learning moment for them that not everyone has an open door for communication.

The final part of this lesson is to remember that you should always be careful what you say because you can NEVER take it back once it's out of your mouth. The damage could be forever as so many of us already know.

Lesson 17: Disappointment = It Is What It Is

There are just some things in life that will disappoint you. You have options on how to handle. You can stew and steam and stress over it, or you can just accept the fact it is what it is. Enough said.

Lesson 16: Make Hay While the Sun Shines

Events of the week brought this lesson back to life. It is so easy to view the glass as half empty rather than half full. How often do we wish that our lives could be different? If we only had more of this and more of that, we could do this and that.

This week we learned that two people in our lives were terminally ill. One was particularly shocking. The other expected. It brought to mind that there is a way for most of us to make our lives different that we can control and that is "TIME". For those dear ones who have been given a timeline, that "TIME" has become very precious. They will eek out the most they can do with all those they love the best way they can while the quality of their lives remain.

For most of us, we often overlook the value of this very precious gift. We take time for granted and put off what can be done another time. It isn't until we are challenged with a defined timeline that there is finally meaning.

The lesson here is to grab the brass ring when you can for our timelines are uncertain. View the gift of time as a precious gem. Find one thing to do each day to make your life fulfilling so if and when you learn you have a timeline, you can look back with joy at a life well-lived.